Oh Yes! Judge Rules

llll Murmansk courthouse llllllllllll Tanya, Lisa, lucky shoes

This is my original posting after the court hearing. I pulled it at a certain point, feeling I'd revealed background information about Daniil that should remain private by nature, personal info for me and family members alone. But after much thought, I've decided to revive this post and allow all of you access, trusting that you have the respect and prudence never to discuss Daniil's birth family with him. I will talk with my son in my own time and own way that is best for him.
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2.5 hours in Murmansk court. I wore my Mom's clothes and shoes on loan from Tanya, the kind translator, since my suitcase did not arrive until this evening.
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After the opening formalities, I stood up and gave a 20-minute speech, no notes, attesting to my desire and readiness to raise a child and to my love for Daniil. I was cross-examined by the judge, a 50-something-ish heavy set woman, as well as by the prosecutor for the Russian Federation, a young good-looking guy with a crooked nose dressed in a bright blue official uniform. "Your lifestyle is about to change entirely. Are you ready for this?... Daniil's mother abused alcohol and this may lead to behavioral problems with the boy. Will you send him back if this occurs?... You may meet a man who loves you but not your boy. What will you do?... You run a school for older children. Do you know how to relate to younger ones?... Has the orphanage fully informed you of the boy's medical difficulties?... You have a full-time job. What will happen to the boy during the day?... What if the boy is allergic to your two cats?... Are you being paid during your leave of absence to see the boy through the transition?..."
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Irina went next, the State inspector from a Russian agency akin to our DSS, and spent 25 minutes reviewing in detail the sad, sad circumstances of Daniil's birth family, from his mother to his uncle to both of his grandparents, all notorious in Apatity for their alcoholism, general ne-er-do-wellness, run-ins with the court system, and complete inability to care for a child. (Daniil's older sister Anna, 11, is in foster care with a woman, purportedly loving, who was Anna's soccer coach.) I barely held back tears as Irina described finding Daniil at 7 months, lying on the dirty apartment floor, covered with dirty clothes in lieu of a blanket, no food, no crib, only cheap vodka bottles in the 2-room flat. Oh my boy, my beautiful baby boy! The judge met my eyes at that moment and, perhaps this is simply projection on my part, but I'd swear was teary as well.
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Please join me in sending love and compassion to this unhappy family, lost in generational suffering. I pause to wonder how they came to be this way and know that they, like every family, have their own particular story. Leo Tolstoy's opening line from Anna Karenina naturally springs to mind: "Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way." If I have anything to do with it--and I do--this cycle of suffering will stop with Daniil and, I pray, with his sister Anna too.
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The baby home director, predictably no-nonsense, spoke of receiving Daniil, dirty, at 7 months, and of her desire to smack Daniil's mother when she showed up again one year later, drunk, to see her boy for the first time. (The mother was refused entrance.) The director described Daniil's "cleverness" and how he is "one of the best" the orphanage has to offer. She applauded my credentials and interactions with Daniil during my two visits, first in February and then over the past few days. She closed with two strong statements: "This boy will need no help from a psychologist. My only recommendation is love.... Every child deserves a home. I am in full approval of this adoption."

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The handsome young prosecutor weighed in as well: "Given that no one in the family is capable or desires to raise this boy, and given that no Russian family wants to adopt him, I am in approval."

The court adjourned for 15 minutes after which the judge re-entered, stern faced, and re-stated official facts about the court and the state. Then she directed us all to rise for her ruling. "The Russian Federation approves Lisa Anne Sjostrom's petition to adopt."

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Oh, happy day! Or in the words of an unrestrained Facebook friend: "Holy shit!" And another: "Speechless." And another: "Horns are blowing." Oh yes! I hugged the translator, the orphanage director, the state inspector. Then I untied and handed the translator back her lucky shoes and slipped on my Fred Perry sneakers. l