Not the Only One

Email received from my friend Carolyn (mother of five): "If you have any new frustrations, as a result of trying to meet professional goals amidst the mindful mind full of motherhood, be well consoled that I feel ya."

"New frustrations"... that's putting it mildly! And I thank you, Carolyn. Good to know, at least, that I'm not alone in my single-professional-new mom overwhelm.

The Tibetan Buddhists have a wonderful meditation practice called tonglen in which a person who is suffering in any given way opens his or her mind and heart and realizes that there are countless others on this earth, at this very moment, who are suffering likewise. Given this realization, I can breathe in the suffering for others, and carry the load on their behalf (since I'm already feeling this pain anyway), and then breathe out relief and ease to all, myself included. I will do this tonight on behalf of all single parents everywhere, from Boston to Bangladesh.

And I need to add, although perhaps it goes without saying, that of course it's not all suffering. But it sure does get challenging parenting alone. As a psychic friend responded when I told him I was planning to adopt as a single mom: "Ah, a brilliant sacrifice." Yes, there is great brilliance. And, yes, there is great sacrifice.